Making Peace with Endings: A Gentle Guide to Finding Your Own Closure
Ending relationships, whether personal or professional, is rarely easy. We hesitate because we don’t want to hurt or lose someone we care about, disappoint someone we appreciate, or face the uncertainty of what comes next. In the midst of it all, we juggle a flurry of emotions—guilt, grief, fear, relief, and sometimes even anger. Because of this emotional complexity, we’re often unable to wrap up endings with a neat, tidy bow. We move forward carrying unresolved questions, unspoken words, and lingering feelings about how things ended or why they needed to end at all.
When you know something needs to end—for your growth, peace, or well-being—you owe it to yourself to begin that process. Waiting for perfect circumstances, ideal words, or total emotional clarity only keeps you stuck.
So, how do we come to terms with endings that don’t feel complete? These five grounding steps offer a starting point.
See things for what they are and accept that you must move on.
Whether it’s a fading friendship, a dissolving professional partnership, or a romantic relationship that isn’t going anywhere, being clear about what you are ending is critical for moving forward. Sometimes we make excuses for others or overlook issues to avoid facing reality. Taking honest inventory of the relationship can help us see more clearly and inspire action.
Consider: What exactly about this specific relationship or situation am I choosing to end? If someone I cared about were in my position, what would I want for them?
Recognizing that a situation doesn’t reflect who you are or what you value empowers you to release it and create space for something more aligned.
Acknowledge the absence of a clear resolution and release the desire for a perfect ending.
Not every ending comes with a closure conversation, an apology, or mutual understanding. Sometimes people won’t give you the words you hoped for and sometimes circumstances simply won’t allow it. Part of moving on is accepting that you might never receive clear answers—that some loose ends may remain—and that’s okay. You don’t need every answer to give yourself permission to move forward. Peace begins the moment you stop chasing the ending you thought you needed.
Acknowledge and explore your emotions without judgment.
It’s human to feel overwhelmed, hurt, embarrassed, confused, regretful, or misunderstood when something you cared about doesn’t work out. Allow yourself to feel these emotions fully. Name them: “I feel ___,” and gently observe how they show up in your body. Is there tightness in your chest? Pressure between your eyes? Tension in your jaw?
Acknowledging and experiencing your emotions allows you to process them so they don’t become trapped in your body. When I process emotions, I ask myself two key questions: What do I want to release, and what do I want to carry? I release low-frequency emotions like anger, bitterness, resentment, and judgment. I carry forward the joy, love, enthusiasm, and gratitude that remain. Even in painful endings, there’s often something worth taking with you—and if not, there’s always a lesson, and that lesson is your gift to carry forward.
Honor what was meaningful, then move forward with grace, carrying a reminder of your resilience, a hard-earned boundary, or simply the courage it took to choose yourself.
Don’t wait or ask for closure—start creating it.
The time you take, the work you do, and the peace you claim for yourself—that’s where closure lives. Ground yourself in what you know, what you’ve experienced, and what your intuition tells you is true. Don’t waste your energy playing the justice police, trying to hold others accountable for how they hurt you. Instead, redirect that energy inward. Hold yourself accountable for your healing, your growth, and your next chapter.
Sometimes, an intentional act can help mark the transition—a moment that honors what was and makes space for what’s next. Maybe it’s writing a letter you don’t send, revisiting a memory with fresh eyes, or clearing out old messages and photos. It can be as simple or as ceremonial as you need it to be. Personally, I write letters, light incense, and burn the letters—releasing them to the universe. Do what works for you, and don’t judge yourself for it. Your closure is yours to create.
Focus on self-care and growth.
Support yourself intentionally during any relationship transition. Therapy can help when the attachment is tied to deeper wounds or past trauma. A coach can support you if you need help staying focused and gaining clarity about what you want to create next. Energy work like Reiki, yoga, and meditation can assist in balancing emotions and releasing stagnant energy. Creative outlets such as journaling, theater, or music can offer powerful ways to process and express what you're feeling.
Prioritize the practices that nourish your spirit, center your emotions, and reconnect you to yourself. Healing is not linear—but every intentional act of care moves you forward.
Final Thoughts:
Endings carry a tangle of emotions, but they also offer space to rediscover what truly matters to you—and to better recognize the qualities you’ll seek in future partners, opportunities, or chapters. When we learn to create our own closure, we stop waiting for someone else to set us free and we reclaim our power to move forward. Not every ending will feel fair, but what you choose to carry forward sets the tone for what comes next. You have the power to hold on to resentment or to release it in favor of gratitude, wisdom, and peace. Closure isn’t about getting everything you wanted; it’s about choosing what you need in order to move forward whole.
When something comes to an end, surrender to it. Lean inward to understand yourself on a deeper level by asking:
Have I been in a similar situation before?
What is this experience trying to teach me?
What am I feeling right now, and what do I need most in this moment?
What do I want to create or welcome into my life moving forward?
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is lay something down, so your hands are free to build something new.
Shannon Stein
